Tuesday, June 30, 2009


I'm in a race against time.

On Saturday I bought 2 books at Borders in Honolulu.

One of the books is Public Enemy by Bryan Burrough. I bought the book with the intention of reading it before the movie came out.

I didn't realize the movie based on the book comes out tomorrow.

To my castmates dismay, I am standing firm that I will not see the movie until I have finished all 592 pages.

In essence, I'm holding the movie (and my castmates) hostage until I get what I want from the book.

John Dillinger would be proud.

-- Post From My iPhone

Monday, June 29, 2009


The whole cast went snorkeling today.

The area we went to was beautiful, but the water wasn't clear at all.

We saw fish, but nothing we hadn't seen before. It was a little disappointing.

We had fun though.

-- Post From My iPhone

Sunday, June 28, 2009


We had a nice lunch with Shannon and Kim from Laughtrack Theater.

We went to Daniel Dae Kim's restaurant "The Counter".

They are famous for their "make your own burgers" portion of their menu. There are over 300 possible combinations.

Here are the ones we made…

They also had amazing cheese fries, sweet potato fries and onion rings.

After lunch Jeannie and I walked around a bit.

I saw an Iroc Z in the parking lot of the mall.

I wish I could have seen the mid-life crisis who owned that.

We went into the As Seen On TV store.

My favorite item that was for sale there was this…

I wish I could have been at the meeting where they pitched the name for this thing.

I bet people were coming up with all kinds of clever names, but there was some guy at the end of the board room table who was saying, "Yeah, sure Tinkle Away is a cute name, but does it really tellpeople what our product does?"

Post From My iPhone

Friday, June 26, 2009


We're leaving Kauai.

I'm doing laundry. It's on the 3rd floor in the tucked away in the crew area. Currently, I'm tucked away in a private meeting room on the 13th floor.

I have to keep sneaking away through the crew areas to check on my clothes to see if they're dry and start another load.

Doing laundry on the ship can be tricky. Especially on Fridays. If you don't get down there as soon as the clothes finish washing or drying, someone will take them out and put them on the counter.

Not cool.

I'm also sneaking around because I'm trying to avoid passengers today.

We have lots and lots and lots of families on board. So that means there are lots of dads on board who think they're the office "funny guys". They usually stop us and say things like, "Boo, boo, why don't you try and be funny next time your up there on stage. Ha, ha. Just kidding. You guys are great."

Meanwhile, their poor teenage children stand next to them horrified that their dorky, unfunny father has just insulted us. I'm not sure why people think it's hilarious to walk up to us and say insulting comments. At least twice a day someone will come up and say things like, "Boy, you're not funny at all" or "That turkey burger is almost as funny as your show last night," or "You were hilarious last night,....NOT." They then follow that up by laughing and putting their arms around your shoulder and saying, "Just kidding. You were great."

I just don't understand the mentality of why they think starting off with a fake insult is so darn funny. It's weird.

Today, I'm really avoiding the passengers because they keep stopping me to tell me Michael Jackson jokes.


Those jokes weren't funny 2 days ago, I'm not sure why they think they'll now work now that he's dead.

In other news, Aphasia Presents Something... has a new episode of our podcast up.

I was talking to someone the other day and they said, "I want to listen to the podcast, but I missed a couple and I don't have time to get caught up. I'll just have to get caught up all of them on some day when I have lots of time to spare."

Well, there's no need to think that way. It's not a podcast series. You're not going to miss vital information if you miss one. They're not in order or anything.

Hopefully they all stand alone on their own. Pick the first one. Pick the most recent one. Pick any of them and you'll be completely fine.

That's the same advice I have for anyone who hasn't listened to any of them. You don't have to go back through and listen to all of them. Listen to them most recent one and you'll be caught up.

However, please feel free to go back and listen to previous episodes as you see fit.

Then, of course, after you listen to the podcast send us an e-mail saying, "Your podcast is great....NOT! Just kidding. Did you hear the one about Michael Jackson and the day care center...."

Tuesday, June 23, 2009


We went to Volcano National Park.

It wasn't as exciting as it sounds.

Here are the pictures.

By the way, I'm really annoyed at the Cubs for losing that game today. We have the WORST closer in baseball.

From My iPhone

Monday, June 22, 2009

Tennis anyone?...

We have been playing a lot of tennis lately.

A lot.

Usually we always play in Maui because the tennis court is easy to get to. There's a court in Kauai, but we haven't looked for it yet.

To be honest, we play so hard on Sundays and Mondays that I don't know if I can handle another day of tennis. I do love it though.

We've been playing for 3 or 4 weeks now and I think we're all improving quite a bit.

Chris has a great serve.

I have a pretty strong forehand return.

And, Jeannie and Brett always return the ball in bounds. Always. Everytime either of them hit it, they always get the ball inside the white lines. It's amazing.

That's something I'm working on. I always hit the ball too hard so it sails out of bounds.

Today I tried to work on hitting it softer, but then I kept hitting it into the net.

I'll find the right balance soon.

By the way, all the photos I'm using here are photos that I copied from Chris' blog.


We have a new podcast, but Brett hasn't uploaded it yet. Too much tennis I guess.

I'm trying to add the podcast to the right side of the page so you can listen to it directly from here. I haven't gotten it to work yet.

Also, you may have noticed Brett has a new blog that he has started. Look at it when you have a chance because he's sure to abandon it before the end of June.

Sunday, June 21, 2009


How crazy is our world today. Nutso.

Between Iran and North Korea I feel like we're about to spin off our axis.

Speaking of spinning off our axis, the Cubs have been a little insane. 3 comeback wins in 3 days!

In Hawaii news, Jeannie and I have found an amazing Mexican restaurant in Kauai. It's phenomenal.
So good that we even had desert. I had fried ice cream.
I can't pronounce (or type) what Jeannie's eating.
It was all truly spectacular.

I have an inner ear infection.

I can hear nothing out of right ear.

Absolutely nothing.

Jeannie keeps making fun of me because if I wanna hear anything I have to turn my head so my left ear is facing whatever it is that I'm listening to.

It's actually hindered a lot of life. During our improv show I couldn't understand any of the suggestions that people were yelling out. I asked for a suggestion of a celebrity or historical figure and I couldn't hear anything that people were shouting. It was so bad that the only thing I could make out was a high pitch woman's voice who yelled out "Hitler". I panicked and took Hitler.

Bad choice.

I'll tell ya, it was no fun trying to do a family friendly, non-offensive improv game using Hitler as the suggestion.


I got some new medicine today so I'm hoping this infection clears up before our next show on Monday.

Today Jeannie, Brett and I went to see "Year One".

Brother bear! That was about as funny as our Hitler game. Tough one.

Between "Year One" and "Land of the Lost" comedy is taking a beating at the movie theater this summer.

Afterward we walked down toward the Chinatown district and met up with our good friend Shannon Winpenny. She is co-owner and Artistic Director of Laughtrack Theater Company in Honolulu. It's a fantastic improv club just a few blocks from where the ship docks.
Hopefully we'll be able to do some improv there soon.

In the meantime, let's have the rest of the world settle down a bit.

Well, except the Cubs. They can keep winning crazy games like this all they want.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


On Sunday Brett, Jeannie and I went to the Maui Oceanarium.

It was very cool.

We saw fish we'd never seen before.

Hey look.

It's a coral choir.

Last night we did our mainstage shows. They were great.

Today we did a workshop for the crew then went to eat Kokonut Pancakes at Ken's House of Pancakes.

After that we went to Gamestop and bought the brand new Ghostbusters video game

-- Post From My iPhone

Saturday, June 13, 2009


Jeannie and I got up early today to go on a little adventure.

We were up and out of the ship by 8am.  

Our mission was to go to the Dole Pineapple Plantation.  

It was a difficult task because it required us to catch the #52 Bus downtown and ride it for 85 minutes toward the North Shore.  

Before we got on the bus we stopped off and Jeannie got a Starbucks while I got a Jamba Juice for the long ride.  As we headed to the bus we wandered into a parade.

We literally wandered right through the middle of it.  

We were trying to walk around it, but the area we were walking was the exact place where the Royal Kamehameha family was gathering so they ushered us in between the cars that would be carrying the Royal Family.

We lucked out and got to the bus stop just a few seconds before it arrived.

We excitedly jumped on and found two seats in the middle of the bus.  We took our seats and chatted as we drank our drinks and munched on the snacks we had bought.

We were blissfully on our way and then...

...this monstrous, foul woman swiveled in her seat and snarled at Jeannie, "Stop blowing on my neck!  Do you hear me?  Stop blowing on my neck!"


My first reaction was to laugh (which I did).  My second reaction was "You can't talk to my girlfriend like that."

I leaned forward and said, "What did you say?"

She turned and scowled at me, "I told her to stop breathing on my neck."

"Calm yourself down," I said to her.  "She didn't breathe on your neck."

"Yes she did," she snarled.  "And, she better stop it."

"Are you kidding me?" I laughed.  "Holy smokes, this is insane," I laughed again.

Jeannie, who was in complete shock (and now holding her breath) began laughing along with me.  Which in turn caused the people across the aisle from us break out into laughter as well.

The woman turned around and gave me a dirty look and then raced up to the bus driver.  She pointed to us and said, "There are two people back there blowing on my neck, laughing at me and eating on the bus.  It's against the rules to eat on the bus.  Please kick them off."

The bus driver rolled his eyes and the woman stormed back to her seat.  As she sat down she gave me a look as if to say, "See what I did.  I just got you in trouble."

I laughed at her and said, "Lady?  Seriously.  What's the matter with you?"

"She's breathing on my neck and ou are not supposed to be eating on the bus!" she yelled at me.  
"You're crazy, lady," I said.  Which caused Jeannie and the people across the aisle to start laughing again.

Several minutes later the whole incident had subsided and Jeannie and I returned to our conversation.  However, the woman swiveled around again and pointed at a sign on the bus.  "See!  See!  It says there that you can't eat or drink on the bus.  I told you.  It says it right there."

We all looked around in amazement.  We couldn't believe this woman was still trying to instigate something.  "Lady, how long are you staying on this bus?" I asked.

That made everyone laugh again.

"All the way, Big Boy," she responded haughtily.

"I'm no Big Boy," I said.

"You got that right," she snapped.

Again, everyone around us laughed.

A few minutes later her cell phone rang and she picked it up and began talking on it.  

I leaned forward and pointed to a sign next to the one she had pointed out to me.  "Whoa, look at that.  It says absolutely no cell phone calls are allowed on the bus.  I better go tell the bus driver someone's breaking the rules."

We all laughed again, but she continued talking on the phone.

Ten minutes later my cell phone rang.  It took me a few seconds to turn it off so it rang twice.  The woman stood up, turned around and glowered at me.  "You're in Hawaii now so you should learn to respect the rules here.  You can go to hell."

She then haughtily walked to the front of the bus.

I looked around in amazement.  I couldn't believe this woman had spent 45 minutes trying to instigate a fight with us.  We had seriously done absolutely nothing to bother her.  Sure, I was drinking a Jamba Juice and munching on a small soft pretzel.  Sure we were talking about celebrity gossip and laughing.  And, yes...we definitely were breathing and most certainly those breathes had traveled through the airspace in that bus and landed on her weirdly clipped hair.

But there was no reason to snap at us like she had.

I called her crazy, but that most certainly is not the case.  She was a mean, nasty, ugly, miserable woman who had a chip on her shoulder about tourists.  I wanted to point out to her that we weren't tourists and we worked on the islands, but I didn't think I needed to explain anything to her.  She can go on living her miserable existence.

We, meanwhile, had a blast at the Dole Plantation.

We rode on a train.

We saw lots of pineapples.

We fed Koi Fish.

We got lost in the largest maze in the world.

We watched a pineapple cutting demonstration.

We ate pineapple whip ice cream.

And, we had a great time.  It was quite an adventurous (and crazy) day.